Spam has gone beyond just irritating, the Federal Trade Commission warns. It has become downright dangerous.

"This new generation of spam is no longer a mere annoyance to email recipients and a burden to ISPs; often it is a vector for criminal activity," the FTC's Spam Summit report, released on December 28th, concludes. The document summarizes the findings of the Commission's Division of Marketing Practices on spam and "phishing."

Not your grandfather's spam

In the relatively innocent 1990s, spammers used automated search software to "harvest" e-mail addresses off Web sites, then dumped them into scripts to mass market products via email. The messages used phony headers so you couldn't trace them to their source.

But those were the good old days, the FTC report explains. Today's New and Improved spam sends you malicious "bots" that implant software in your computer, turning it into part of a network of hosts that send unprecedented quantities of spam into cyberspace.

And the spam doesn't just try to get you to buy V1a@ra; it directs you to "phishing" sites—phony Web pages that look like your banking, credit card, or cell phone account site—then tells you the site crashed and needs you to submit your account information again in the hope that you'll fall for this dodge and the spammer can rob you silly.

"Don't prevent states from fixing my cell phone problems," someone who signed their name "Donald Trump" wrote to the Federal Communications Commission in June of 2005.

"Here, hold my hairpiece for a minute while I take this call from California—" the filing continues. "what? You think cell phones should be regulated somehow? Disclosure? Costs? You crazy? Hell, I'll NEVER allow California to do any such thing! . . . YOU'RE FIRED!"

Did Paris Hilton file with the FCC?
Only her hairdresser . . .

As someone who searches for and reads FCC proceeding statements a lot, I run into many FCC filings signed by people who comment as celebrities, noted historical figures, or even as dirty words. Most, but not all, are creatively mangled Web form comments provided by public interest groups on specific issues.

"I'm a dead Communist, but I don't want to pay more for my telephone service!" declared "Leon Trotsky" in an FCC statement submitted in March of 2005.