The Federal Communications Commission had a lot to say about BS this week - the word, that is. LLFCC has a tidy summary of the latest rulings.

On Monday, November 6th the FCC issued new judgments on indecency complaints regarding four television shows: The 2002 and 2003 Billboard Music Awards, The Early Show, and NYPD Blue. Here are the programs and the utterances for which they stood trial:

On March 15, 2006, the FCC issued an Omnibus Order ruling that these colorful sentences violated regulations against broadcasting indecent and profane material, although the agency did not fine the broadcasters. But Fox, Hearst, CBS, and ABC unleashed their lawyers anyway, and so the FCC asked the venue in question, the Second Circuit Court of Appeals, to remand their decisions back to them for further consideration.

The Commission then solicited public comment on these cases. Thousands of pages of learned opinion descended upon the agency, and from this process came the following decisions:

• Nicole Richie's "Prada purse" comment was indecent. Fox TV lawyers argued that although Richie used the word "fucking," it was employed for emphasis, and not to depict sexual activity. As for the "cow shit" comment, Fox called it a "passing reference to an excretory by-product" not intended to be pandering, titillating, or shocking.

  Nice try but no stogie, the FCC ruled. The word "'fuck' . . . inherently has a sexual connotation and thus falls within the scope of our indecency definition." And the S-word clearly implied "a description of excretory functions."

• Ditto for Cher's "fuck 'em" remark. Fox again tried the argument that Cher used the F-word in the dismissive rather than the sexual sense of the term.

  "We disagree," the FCC declared. "As discussed above, a long line of precedent indicates that both literal and non-literal uses of the 'F-Word' come within the subject matter scope of our indecency definition. Given the core meaning of the 'F-Word,' any use of that word has a sexual connotation."

• The Early Show snafu was not indecent. Since the "I knew he was a bullshitter" utterance came in the context of a news interview about the Survivor: Vanuatu show, it enjoys First Amendment protection. "In light of the important First Amendment interests at stake as well as the crucial role that context plays in our indecency determinations, it is imperative that we proceed with the utmost restraint when it comes to news programming," the FCC argued.

  The ruling conceded that the segment could be understood as a promotional piece rather than a news feature, but the Commission noted that The Early Show ran the story alongside items about Iraq, Homeland Security, and the Ukraine.

  "In light of these factors and our commitment to exercising caution in this area," the FCC concluded, "we believe it is appropriate in these circumstances to defer to CBS's plausible characterization of its own programming."

• The consumer complaints against NYPD Blue came from a region where the program was not broadcast in violation of the law. The FCC dismissed the complaints, accepting Hearst arguments that the single complainant against NYPD Blue Detective Sipowitz's various "bullshit" remarks filed comments not from the Kansas City, Missouri, area, where the show was broadcast before 10 pm, but from Alexandria, Virginia, where the local station broadcast it after 10 pm.

  "[N]one of the complaints contains any claim that the out-of-market complainant actually viewed the complained-of broadcasts on KMBC-TV [in Kansas City] or any other ABC affiliate where the material was aired out of the safe harbor [10 pm to 6 am]," the FCC ruled.

Postscript: Adolescents everywhere will doubtless rejoice in a footnote to the decision in which the FCC exonerated NYPD Blue for broadcasting the words "dick" and "dickhead," terms the agency found "not patently offensive under its contextual analysis."